I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships, so will our healing,
and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Life Changing Moments

Every once in a while there comes a moment that drastically changes the rest of your life.  Maybe it was a phone call or a decision or a conversation.  Maybe you realized the gravity of the moment right then, or maybe you didn't.  Maybe the moment brought good change or devastating change.  But looking back, you can trace much of where you are today to that one moment.

For me, one of those moments was a phone call on August 8, 2009.

It was a Saturday.  I had just gotten back from youth camp the day before and hadn't even finished my camp laundry yet. I was wrapping up a fantastic summer that I'd spent working as an intern at my home church.  I'd gotten the opportunity to work at several camps, lead a mission trip back to a place that was very special to me, be a bridesmaid in a dear friend's wedding, take a music festival road trip with my best friend, and I was exhausted, sunburned, and very happy.  In a few weeks I would head back to school in Oregon to start my junior year of college, and I was looking forward to seeing school friends again and moving back into the dorms.

 Basin City Mission Trip 2009

 Best Friend Roadtrip/Music Festival Trip 2009

 Kids Camp 2009

 "The River Runs Through It" Camp 2009

Linnea's Wedding - July 19, 2009

I was putzing around the house, doing laundry, and starting to think about packing to go back to school, when the phone rang. My mom answered it and hollered up the stairs that it was for me.  

"It's someone named Pam Horton from Corban," she said.

My first reaction was panic.  Pam was the Resident Director of the dorm I lived in at school, and I had no idea why she would be calling me at home during the summer.  Was there something wrong with my housing assignment?  Was I still going to able to room with my beloved roomie, Kelli?  Was I in trouble?

I apprehensively answered the phone, and Pam got right to the point.  "We unexpectedly have an open RA position.  Would you be interested in being a Balyo RA for us this year?"

To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.  I had considered applying for an RA position the previous spring, but when I realized that RA training would overlap with my internship, I never turned in an application.  It turned out that one of the gals who had been hired for the position had developed some mysterious health problems over the summer.  She had started training with her team, but realized after a few days that physically she wasn't going to be able to fulfill the position, so Pam had asked the RA team for suggestions of who might be able to fill the open spot.  My RA, Madison, had suggested me or my roommate Kelli.

Me, Kelli and Madison - Fall 2008

Pam had actually called and offered the position to both Kelli and I, (which she realized later could have been very awkward!) and told us to discuss it with each other and decide which of us wanted the position.  After hanging up the phone I sent off a couple of frantic "Please pray!  I just got offered an amazing opportunity!" texts to friends and called my Roomie.  I think she was working or something, so we didn't connect until the next morning, and she called while I was driving to church.  Our conversation went something like this:

Me:  "Hey Roomie, so do you want to be an RA?"
Kelli:  "Well, I would do it if you don't want to, but I'm going to be really busy with classes and my internship this year, so it would be a lot of extra work for me.  Do you want to do it?"
Me:  "Yeah, I think I do."
Kelli:  "Perfect!  You be the RA, and I'll be your roommate.  This is great!  We'll get a bigger room!"

Me and my dear Roomie - Fall 2009

And just like that, I became the Balyo First Floor North RA.  Two days later I moved into my dorm room and met my RA team for the first time.  Besides Madison and Kristy (who had been supposed to be my RA that year!) I didn't know anyone else on staff.  But as I walked into my new home, I was greeted with a bouquet of beautiful flowers and handwritten notes from the rest of my new team.  Each note spoke of how even though they hadn't known I was coming until just a few days prior, the Lord had known from the beginning that I would be the one to fill this spot in Balyo Hall, and they couldn't wait to see what adventures we would have in the year to come.  [Side note:  I still have all of those cards. They are so precious to me.]

Thus began one of the most amazing, hardest, uncomfortable, and wonderful experiences of my life.  The other members of my RA team became some of my very best friends.  We learned and laughed together, spent hours not doing homework and watching Lifetime movies in Pam's apartment, consistently kept up on who had a crush on who, and together we navigated the ups and downs of life and student leadership.

 Balyo and Davidson - Dedication Night 2009

 The Balyo Babes - Dedication Night 2009

 BAD - Christmas 2009

Awkward Family Photos - Christmas 2009

 Balyo Battles - Spring 2010

End-of-the-Year RA Outing - Spring 2010

At the end of one year of RA-ing, I realized that I loved my job so much I was willing to sacrifice another year of sleeping in on Saturday mornings to go to all-campus RA meetings.  A new year, a new team, a new RD, and a new hall brought new challenges and new joys.

 Balyo Babes - Dedication Night 2010

Balyo & Davidson - Dedication Night 2010

Senior RA's - Spring 2011

I don't know exactly when I decided that residence life was something I wanted to pursue as a career, but at some point I suddenly realized that I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else.  I loved building relationships with and discipling students and walking with them through their college years, and the idea that I could take a bit of what I'd experienced as an RA and turn it into a full-time job was mind-blowingly awesome. 

After two long years of applying for residence life positions all over the country, the Lord, in His perfect timing, opened the doors for me to become an RD in Missouri, over 2,000 miles away from home.  On the days when I am missing my family and friends and my beloved Cascade Mountains and Pacific Ocean, all I have to do is look at the crazy ride I've taken to get here, to this time and this place, and I am confident that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be.  Yes, I know it will be challenging, hard, and frustrating at times, but I trust that it will also be an experience that will bring me joy and peace and growth as I follow where the Lord leads.

And to think, this all started with a phone call from Pam almost four years ago.

"Would you be interested in being a Balyo RA for us this year?"

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Pam & Carrie - Spring 2010

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Choosing Thankfulness

It's been one heck of a week.  There have been so many good and wonderful blessings that I've experienced since moving halfway across the country, but that could be a whole post of its own.  The most difficult aspect of my move has been my car search.  Who knew that it would be so hard to find a (not-ugly) car with reasonable miles within my price range?

(Granted, yes, I'm a bit of a picky car buyer.  My definition of "not-ugly" is rather specific, and I tend to think that 90% of cars manufactured after 2006 look like balloons, but I digress.)

After hours of Craigslist searching, many test drives, several promising deals falling through, and lots of hours discussing *ahem* prices with used car salesmen, in a fit of frustration, I agreed to a price on a 2002 Toyota RAV4.


I hadn't been particularly looking at the RAV4's, it was just one of several that I was going to look at while I was out car shopping in Springfield.  I was surprised when I actually liked it, and when I didn't find anything else promising, at the end of the day I made an offer on it.

The papers were signed, the check was written, and the dealer delivered it to my home. I drove it over to a friend's house to show it off, and on our way back from a celebratory trip to Dairy Queen, I noticed the transmission felt off.  It wasn't shifting smoothly, and on occasion the whole car would jerk and lose power before slamming back into drive.  

Not good for a car I'd only owned for two hours.

To make a long story short, there's a significant transmission problem with this year, make, and model, and the car needs some expensive trips to the mechanic.  Thankfully, my dealer has said that he is committed to getting it fixed for me at no cost, but it's been a stressful two days to say the least.  There were many many moments of unknown where all I could do was sit there and wonder how on earth I'd managed to buy such a screwed up car despite careful test drives and even having a mechanic check it before I bought it.  In the midst of it all though, there have been so many wonderful blessings, and I'm choosing to focus on those, mostly to keep myself from going completely crazy.  :)

  • Seriously, I've had the world's kindest mechanics. In the past week, I've talked to more mechanics than I've ever talked to in my life, and overwhelmingly, they have all been incredibly kind, helpful, and respectful.  And get this:  Not a single one has charged me a dime.  Seriously?!  How does that even happen?
  • I may have moved 2,000 miles away from home, but I somehow managed to move to a place where I still had family close by.  My aunt and uncle have been so incredibly gracious in allowing me to borrow their vehicles for the past month!  And today when I had to call my uncle to ask him if I could use his truck for a while longer because my new car was going to the shop, he said "No problem!" without a second's hesitation.  Family is such a blessing.
  • The Lord has provided quality friends here who have been such a wonderful support throughout all of this! These people have not only cared about my crazy situation and prayed for wisdom and guidance for me, but they have willingly gone on test drives with me, helped me set up mechanic appointments, been willing to be second drivers as I have shuffled cars all over creation, and have been such an encouragement in a time when I could have felt really alone. It's a beautiful thing to see the body of Christ loving and serving each other.  I hope and pray that I can be that kind of support and encouragement for others as well.
  • My daddy is my hero.  This man has tirelessly searched Craigslist for the past month and walked me through test drives, dealing with used car dealers, and how to pick a mechanic, all from the other side of the country.  It's a good thing we have lots of rollover cell phone minutes, cause we're not leaving any to waste.  I know it's making him crazy to not be able to be here, helping me pick a car, and especially dealing with having bought a lemon, but I certainly couldn't have made it this far without his hours of research and wise advice. I love you, dad.
  • Gas is $3.24 a gallon. For this west coast girl who comes from a place where gas prices are among the highest in the nation, I can't get over how "cheap" it is to fill up out here.  Everything is far away from where I live, so the cheaper it is for me to make trips to mechanics and dealers, the better.  It's the little things.
  • I've learned so much!  In the past two weeks, I've gained so much knowledge about buying cars, researching cars, negotiating prices, finding a good mechanic who is not my dad, my brother, or my best friend's dad, and as of the last two days, transmissions!  I love to learn, and looking at this whole ordeal as a learning experience makes it seem just an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-bit worth it.
  • My dealer seems to be an honest guy who is committed to getting my car fixed. Legally, he could have easily said, "Sorry!  You bought it, this sucks for you!" but from my interactions with him, it seems like he is willing to make things right and keep me a happy customer.  This is huge. 

And there are more, but these are the big ones.  When I get frustrated about still not having a car and still having to borrow vehicles and omigosh, I just made the most expensive mistake of my life and wow I really suck at being an adult, I'm trying to remind myself of these things.  The Lord has taken good care of me in the past, and I know that He's not gonna quit now!

Your love never fails / it never gives up / it never runs out on me!